The Passing of the Flaming Torch

OOOOOOOOOH-WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  What a day!  Who was it that said, ”The amount of effort one puts forth to accomplish a goal makes the eventual outcome better or worse.”  Oh yeah, it was me who said it.  Let’s take the Mastodon in-store performance on Tuesday night.  My workday was so chaotic and the build-up for the show so intense that by the time the band took the stage, it had become cathartic.

            There was a lot at stake.  Gavin, my 10-year old son, had been asking repeatedly to go with us to the show. We had envisioned about 10 of us getting together with our kids and “passing the torch” so to speak.  Gavin had been to several other shows like the Raconteurs, Ween, and Voodoo Music Festival, but those were very different than the record release event by Mastodon in their hometown at a tiny record store.  Additionally, Gavin had been learning the new album to prove his worthiness as we got it off of the interweb as soon as it leaked.  He knew the death metal hand symbol.  He knew when to bang his head, & he was even starting to understand the intricacies of the air guitar and it’s appropriateness.

Everything was set up perfectly until a chance glance at the Criminal Records website cause a proverbial “hitch in our giddy-up”. 

 

Due to an overwhelming response from the public, Criminal Records has had to modify how it will handle the upcoming Mastodon in-store performance on Tuesday, March 24th.  The store will be closed (for a brief time) at 8 pm, so that we may re-organize to enhance our customer’s enjoyment of the show.  Upon re-opening, customers that have a Criminal Records receipt from purchase of “Crack The Skye” will be given priority to enter the store.  Also, due to space constraints and security concerns we will limit the number of people allowed in the store to 300.  Thanks for your understanding.

           

Crap!!!  I’m the new guy @ a new job and I just don’t think it’s possible for me to ask off work to go to a record store and pick up a CD so that I can go to a concert that night.  Just writing that makes me want to fire myself.  Luckily, Mike is still on hiatus from his work so he was able to wrap that issue up quite nicely.  Problem #1 solved thanks to Mike…

            As my day progressed, I realized that another issue was beginning to rear it’s ugly head.  My boss expected me to go from my project jobsite in Austell to Rome, Ga. after wrapping up the day’s chores to make a delivery/pickup.  Time was growing short.  Knowing that getting to the record store early enough to be up front was going to make or break the event for us, I was able to cover 175 miles, during afternoon traffic, in 135 minutes.

Chew on that, Georgia State Patrol!!!

            We arrive at the exact time we had planned and found ourselves about 25-30th in line. This was sweet because we were stationed right in front of a fantastic beer bar.  We had 2 hours to kill so we got some pizza and beverages and began to wait it out with out new friends.  In front of us was a couple who were really nice.  They were very reserved and made Gavin feel very comfortable.  Behind us, however, were 6 or 7 fellas who had been drinking Jager since noon, were in a rock band in Rome, Ga., and were a fairly intimidating group of guys.  They gave me one of their disks but I haven’t listened yet.  myspace.com/embodiedband, if you’re interested.  They were all very large and very hairy so it took Gav a while to warm up to them.  We talked about bands I have little interest in (Lamb of God) and watched as they ogled all of the hot metal sluts who meandered by towards the back of the line.  The funny thing was that all of the pretty lil’ babies only wanted to interact with Gavin!!  He was the pre-show Jr. ROCKSTAR except when Mastodon’s guitarist, Bill Kelliher, walked by with his lady & child in tow!!!!  Little rocker kids are so damn cute to me. 

            Time was flying by & it was Showtime.  We filed in, and luckily the management had enacted a 10 years and under get in for free rule so Gavin didn’t need his own disk receipt. We smoothed right up front to about 6 feet from the stage but due to Gavin’s lack of height, I knew it was going to be a long show with him on my shoulders.  Luckily, all the good folks in line had set up camp with us so we had a semi-safe barrier of people who at least knew he was there.

          We immediately noticed the extensive audio & video equipment, not knowing at that time that the band was webcasting the event in honor of releasing the record to the masses that day.  The band came out looking as gnarly as ever.  Brent Hinds has the most intimidating snarl in music and I defy anyone to tell him different.  They launched into the first song, Oblivion, with the drummer singing into a Brittany Spears style mic.  It will amaze me forever how someone could be so technically skilled to be able to play so intricately & sing at the same time. It is also a testament to the band’s progression as musicians that they share the singing duties with such balance.  There is a lot to be said for actually hearing the raw drums and amps without additional amplification, too.

          Now, this ain’t your momma’s Mastodon like the days of Blood & Thunder or Trampled under Hoof.  Although today’s recreation of these songs is better than the originals, subjectively speaking. This band’s transition and inclusion of prog-rock techniques is very reminiscent of Tool, circa Aenima. There were sounds coming from the stage that were very unnatural. Trippy, psychedelic swirls of strings and synth mixed with the almost violent chug of the guitars to make it obvious that these guys had arrived to TAKE their title as “The Most Relevant Band in METAL”.

Brent Hinds:

I’m a gigantic rock star and there’s no way for me not to know that — and I love it!”

Yes you are, Sir.

          I was whipped.  We were rocking out and Gavin was above the fray.  He and I both needed a break after Divinations (the 2nd song). I mean, holding a 10 year old on your shoulders ain’t as easy on your back as you might think.  As I put Gavin down, this lil guy among the sea of rocking giants, both arms shot into the air in a double-death metal salute.  It was only visible to a few of us but a guy patted me on the back in appreciation and congratulations for having such a fucking cool kid.

 Lifelong inclusion to the memory bank… Check.

 He wanted to be able to see again after he got the feeling back into his feet.  I popped him back up above the crowd and our buddies from Rome were apparently engaging in some illicit activities.  All of a sudden, this behemoth of a man, 6’4” 375 lbs with wicked white boy fro/dreds accidentally lit his hair on fire.

WHOOOSH!!!!  It went up like a torch.  Flaming about a foot & a half in the air.  Gavin was oblivious to the illicit stuff but couldn’t miss the flaming monster in front of him & dove for safety.  Security immediately escorted the guy away as his hair continued to smolder.  This created a fantastic void in the front of the stage so Gavin & I assumed the position!  Front Row at his first show.  It was perfectly insane!!!  After the band played the new epic 4-part song, The Czar, and we had wiggled ourselves into premium spots, it all ended very suddenly..  Although we thought we were gong to hear the album in it’s entirety, the plan was to only play the 1st half.  It ended with a stark abruptness that could only leave someone wanting more, more, more…

As the people began to file towards the exit, metalhead after punk rocker after hipster were slapping Gavin five and scrubbing up his hair.  They all saw the next generation of lunatic rock-n-roll fanatic right up front banging his head & being brave.

It was some scary shit, I must say.

 

      

^^^^^ Mastodon in the Studio^^^^^